What are you Thankful for? As I am sitting here in my office, needing to work on things for my shop. I got to think. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and we are celebrating as well. Thanksgiving for me means it’s the beginning of the end of the year. I am mostly done with my Christmas shopping, I have a few things I have to get. I am even going to manage to get my families package in time to the post office for overseas.

So what am I thankful for this year? I am still here. This year has not been easy. I am still trying to cope that my daughter turned 18, graduated from High School. She is still at home, but she goes to school full time and works part-time. She also has a car and is making car payments. So she is busy and very independent. I don’t even want to think about her leaving in two years. But I have come to understand that this is the underlying cause of my depression this year.

I am so proud of her accomplishments and that she is getting the best education right now, learning life. So I am thankful that we are able and willing to help her.

My son, is 15 a sophomore on High School. He is in Theater and enjoys the behind the scenes stuff immensely. His face lights up when he talks about it. He too is very independent and so mature, he decided if he doesn’t get into a college with scholarships, he will do the same his big sister is doing. He is also on track to get his Letterman Jacket at the end of His Junior Year.

My husband is my Rock. He is always there for me no matter what. Yeah, we do have our spats, but mostly they are about little things. I’ve noticed we both have become a little more irritable over the years. He still enjoys running and will participate in his first Marathon in January I believe.

Thankful and more

My year has been odd to say the least. I am fighting so hard to get my small business to where it used to be in 2016, but it has been a struggle as my niche is getting a bit overrun. Things I made in 2012 are now everywhere. And my fandom has grown so much, that everyone tried to dip in. So I am working on coming up with a new strategy for 2019 and it is sometimes so disheartening. But I am here and I will #alwayskeep fighting.

So the struggles, this year, may not seem like much, but they were real for me. I didn’t care enough about myself. It feels like every time, I get on the wagon I fall right off.

What is the Solution?

I am giving myself till Monday, I am organizing the house, my office, and little things so that I can concentrate on myself. The depression doesn’t care much for housework, but I am going to give it a nice F*U and will make an appt with myself to workout every day for 30mins. Setting my alarm for an early time will ensure that I can do so. Turning 45 this year might have had something to do with it as well, but Here I am, fighting. I am uncomfortable in my own skin.

What’s next to be Thankful for?

I discovered a little show called “Outlander” and the main actor Sam Heughan, has a charity called My Peak Challenge, and I am determined to do this year. Being able to participate is what I am thankful for.

I am also thankful I discovered my love for knitting again. Patterns are swirling in my head and need to be written out and shared. Sewing is still a passion and so I will be making purses with my own vinyl designs, as I made some good connections during some networking events.

Being thankful this year is not hard at all. I am thankful we are here because Tomorrow needs us.

You Can

You Can…

You can are two words I have to remind myself of a lot. Facebook reminded me this week, that 3 years ago I started this Journey again. I did well, losing 40lb. Then I had foot surgery and just never got back into the groove.

But here I am today, I got up when my alarm went off, dress and went for walk. It wasn’t a big walk, 30 mins, 1.7 miles, but I could and I did. My life in my head is utter chaos at the moment.

Organize my brain

I am trying very hard to restructure what is going on in there. Imagine just having tons of colors (which are ideas) popping up like fireworks and they are all over the place and it never stops. That’s my brain. So I am working on figuring out how to make it more look like an old-school library catalog.

I have a task list on google, I have a daily planner for my To-do’s, a personal health planner and a small planner that goes with me. When I got out of a very toxic friendship 6 years ago, my brain was messed up. I was on anti-depressants, in therapy and riddled with anxiety. I am good at hiding those things.

What changed?

I have a beautiful family, my husband is my rock, he is there for me no matter what. He is my voice of reasoning and goodness he is a saint when it comes to patience. My kids have been my driving force. I have been functioning, but it’s time to start living again. The magnesium for depression and it seems to help a lot. I also learned how to say “no” which is a very important word.

My goals are:

  • Enjoy my family
  • be healthy
  • be better organized in my business
  • enjoy my friends
  • live my life

So here I am on November 5th, knowing that I CAN.


5 Self-Care things I do

Self-Care is very important and not selfish at all.

I learned that self-care is hard and I had to learn how to. After the toxic friendship, I had inherited depression and anxiety. I am much better than 6 years ago, but this year I had a hard time getting back in the swing of things. But this past week it seems like I am getting out of my slump and starting to be me again. There are things I do to take care of myself. Sadly they are not a constant, but this past month I have been much better about it. So here are five things I do for myself and it’s not going to a spa, or spending tons of money.

Daily routines are important

1. Brushing my teeth, washing my face and moisturize

It may not seem like much, but it is important. When I am in a depression, I tend to not take care of simple things. I am also prone to dental problems, so brushing my teeth is a very important step. When I am stressing my gums tend to get inflamed and for me personally, that is bad. Washing my face and moisturizing. I am 45 now, and I don’t feel like it, so I don’t want to look like it. Somewhere I read, if you moisturize your skin every day, it will even itself out even the oily patches and it is true. My skin is in much better condition now.

Teas have so many properties that are good for you

2. Having a cup of tea

I love having a cup of tea in the evening. One of my favorites is chamomile-lemongrass, it’s the perfect cup before bed. I also am a fan of Lady earl grey. There is something about preparing a cup of loose leaf tea. I have some cute teapots I use and most days use my mug from TWLOHA. I do put creamer in some of my teas, but no sugar. It’s just relaxing. Sometimes, self-care is a cup of coffee during the day, which I am fond of as well. 

3. Take a Nap

Sometimes, I steal away from my busy life and take a nap. I try to get enough sleep every night, and right now that is about 7hrs a night. But some days, I worry to much about my family, my business or other things and then am awake. So on those days, I will take a nap. Cause I am no use to people when I am grumpy, can’t concentrate, or just stare at the monitor and not get work done. So I try to take about an hour nap. I set my alarm, but sometimes, I hit dismiss and sleep a bit longer.

4. Read

I always loved to read, but I have been terrible about reading since I have become a mom. I have read all the Harry Potter books, but I am not reading regularly. Reading lets me escape my every day. Right now I am reading Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett. I also love Mercedes Lackey and I am known to enjoy a good Fan Fiction. I have a kindle which makes taking books with me pretty easy. My goal is to read a book a month, so we will see how that goes.

Food is important…

5. Food

Yes food, but not the way you think. I make meal plans and cook. But if I need something extra, I will cook a favorite food that might not be on the plan. Favorites in our family are Lentil Soup, Sweet Potato Curry, those are some go to’s in our family. Also I discovered the RX No BS bars and I love them, they are like a treat for me. But I get all the good stuff in my body.

I hope these help you find your self-care. As you can see these things don’t cost a ton of money and they help you feel better. Self Care is never selfish. It’s the best thing you can do for the people you love. When you take care of yourself, you are your best self and they will have the best you. 

Much love

7 Benefits of Weight Training in Women over 40

Weight Lifting

Weight Training in Women over 40

Why is weight training in Women of 40 important? We have been taught from the 80’s that we should be doing cardio to loose the weight and strengthen out body. But as it says Cardio, which is short for Cardio Vascular exercise. And yes, that is for Hearth Health and endurance.  Many Women believe that the only way to loose weight is  to do Cardio.

That is why the cardio machines are packed at the gym and aerobics classes are always full. 

I would like to explain to you why that is NOT the best approach.  When I worked as a Trainer I had to explain to many women why it could be their problem of not being able to loose weight and hitting a plateau. Or why they are starting to get “Skinny Fat”

I have been fighting with my weight all my life and the scale is not the most effective way to measure results. Don’t get me wrong it is a great tool, but not the only one. 

When you do strength training, are you gaining lean muscles mass and it will help you to look thinner and it will increase your metabolism. 

So I it is important to track measurements throughout your journey, if you can get your body fat measured and pay attention how your clothes fit. 

What are the benefits?

1. Increase in Muscle Mass – when we get older, our muscle mass decreases, and int this day and age, women do not do as much physical work as we used.

2. Increased Metabolism- When you are over 40 your metabolism has slowed down. It will be more and more difficult and frustrating to loose weight. So when you build muscles, your metabolism will increase, because muscles are Metabolically active. This means your muscles keep burning calories after your work out thanks to EPOC ( excess post-exercise oxygen consumption). This does not happen if you do Cardio.

3. Reversal and slowing of Bone Density Loss – Our bone density declines with age. This puts us at risk for injuries. Weight training will help build stronger bones.

4. Better Sleep – Any form of exercise can help with sleep and there are studies, to show that weight training can help improve hormonal balance.

5. More Energy It sounds wrong, but resistance training can help you feel more energized during the day. It helps release endorphins, which improves your mood. 

6. Improved Overall Health – Studies show, that weight training in women benefits lowering your blood pressure, resting heart rate and tryglycerides.

7. Love the way you look

This is me in 2008, I had lost 80 and weighed in at 185lbs. I am a size 12, now know I am 5’6″ so I am not super tall and I achieved this by Weight training 3x week and doing cardio 3-5x week. But my cardio also included Kickboxing classes. 

Fall (ing)

Fall – Autumn

I am one of these people that love fall. I grew up in Switzerland, we had four seasons and Fall was always one of my favorites. When the leaves turn color and you get to take your favorite jacket out of the closet. Maybe even put on a knitted hat.

I fell really hard this year, not physically, but mentally. I hit a wall and did not recover until now. Oh on the outside everything was hunky dory, but on the inside, I was sad, sad for what I lost, sad the world, sad for what is going on in the US.


And then about 2 weeks ago I noticed a change. I don’t know what it was, but it was there. I bought myself a Happy Planner and started to plan out my days the night before. I also noticed that I was more productive and I seemed to be happier. I fell in love with my Happy Planner, I thought that all the hype was crazy, but now that I am in a month, I love it. The planner is what I need to keep on track. Obviously not every day, there are still bad and dark days. But they are fewer.

Then a week ago, I rearranged my office/workshop and I have been so excited in the morning to go in there and get stuff done. I already have a lot of my Christmas line ready to launch soon.

And that brings us to today. I got a mini planner, that is just for me. For my Journey that I am taking. It seems that fall is a new beginning for me, that I let go of stuff that doesn’t matter. I concentrate on things that matter to me. My family, my husband, my friends.

The plan

I am nursing a knee and elbow injury, so full-blown workouts are not working for me yet. So I decided to workout three times a week. And I ordered Resistance Bands so that I can workout at home. I also can take them with me when I am traveling.

I took the mini planner and wrote out my workouts and I am already meal planning, I just have to get a lot stricter with sticking to it. Also, I use a service called Curbside which has helped with my budget and not buying bad foods.

So here is to Fall (ing)

Saturday Musings on the past week…

This past week has been a bit rough.

I wasn’t feeling so well on Thursday and Friday. I had a night mare on Thursday that I woke up from and I could not shake it and then in the afternoon I started to feel like I was getting sick, headache, runny nose and cold. I could not get my body temp right. I am wondering if it has something to do with my body getting enough Vitamin D now. As I was diagnosed to have Vitamin D deficiency.
I also noticed this is Week 3 now since I am taking it and I started to have dreams again and remembering them. Which is sometimes really cool, sometimes not so much.
So Thursday was also the day my legs told me that they would appreciate it, if we were not to workout. So I did a rest day. I also was in bed by 8:30pm.

Friday I woke up feeling better but still not 100%, but I made myself go for a walk once it was warmer and that turned into my regular 5K walk and I beat my best time as well I got it done in 57minutes.
The rest of the day wen’t well.  Well ok I am lying I got on the scale in the morning and was not happy as I was at 266.2 I still had lost half a lb from the previous week. But instead of eating my weight in chocolate I went for that walk.
Then last night we had family for Dinner and I was content and happy.

Today my husband got up at the crack of dawn and ran a 15K, yes he is a runner and is running his first half marathon next weekend and I am very proud of him, but I got woken up and could not get back to sleep. But I decided to stay in bed anyways. Well I was futzing around to late to go to the Combat class at the gym. So I decided to workout in our driveway and modify the workout my trainer gave me to fit the equipment I have here at the house. It was not easy.

Then after that I got to do what I love the most, is hanging out with my husband and run errands with no kids. It’s my favorite thing. And I got a new pair of Cross Trainer Shoes, I didn’t know Under Armour makes shoes, but I tried them on, they fit like a glove and came home with me. I did have to buy a size 9, cause the 8.5 were to small. But I got them.

Then for Dinner we were supposed to have Chicken Gyros, well I forgot to take the chicken out of the feezer, so we had Sirloin Tip Steak and I made a killer creamy mushroom sauce to go with it.Gluten Free and Dairy Free.

I hope this coming week will be a bit better. I am really happy with this Journey so far and in two week I get to Hug Jared Padalecki 😀 cause my wonderful husband got me a Photo Op for Valentine’s Day. How awesome is that?

Here is to a better week.

12 weeks ago…

I started this Journey with a guy named Gabriel from Holyfit.

He was recommended to me by a friend of mine who had an awesome tranformation.

When I signed up with Gabriel he said, the only thing I ask, is that you give me 12weeks.
So here we are 12 weeks later.

I started this journey on November 1st at 281lb. I was at my highest in August of 2015 at 285lb. So this morning I got on the scale and it told me that I weighed 255.2lb. I thought I was dreaming. that meant I had lost 26lb. since November. I also lost a total of 18″ over all and 6″ alone around my umbilicus. I dropped my body fat by 5% (it’s still way to high, but hey)

So yes, I can only recommend this amazing man, he ignited the passion for health and fitness in me again and I am every greatful for it and I will keep training with him till I hit my goal of 180lb. and maybe go even farther.

Thank you Gabriel.

I also wanna thank my husband for his continued support and also for getting healhty with me. I also thank my kids for being my Cheer team, I love you very much.
And thank you to all of my family and friends that keep encouraging me.

Let’s see what the next 12 weeks bring. <3

Keep lifting