4 weeks post op and the struggle is still real…

as you know 4 weeks ago I had surgery to remove a bones spur on top of my foot, it had been agitating me for 4 years. Well we are 4 weeks in and I haven’t not made it back to the gym as my foot keeps swelling.  As you can see in the picture, that was Friday (sorry for the terrible pedicure, but Ihaven’t been able to go). I am trying to elevate as much as I can, but I have work that has to be done and with a store opening soon, this is really putting a damper on things.

My food is ok, I haven’t been logging which I am changing today and I am trying to be better at my water intake. I have neglected that as well. My weight is fluctuating between 246 and 243, after this weekend (I had a convention, brought most of my food, but made decent choices) I have to get back to it. I hate not being able to do what I want/need to do for work and my body. I am trying to stay positive and but I can slowly feel the depression creeping up and I don’t want that. 
Also Today, 4 years ago I decided to end a 4 yrs friendship with a woman that abused, my good nature and took bits an pieces of me. It has been a very long road to build myself up again. But I am getting there. I have a pretty successful business, I am about to open a store with an amazing business partner and go on a new adventure. 
This weightloss Journey has done wonders for me, my self confidence has become stronger, (work in progress) I actually like some pictures of me, like this one. It was taken at the Renaissance Fair with my husband and I don’t look like a beached whale.
I still have a long ways to go, but Rome wasn’t build in one day and trying to find what was lost is taking a while, but it’s getting better, I have more days that are bright and filled with laughter, then the dark grey ones. And that is the goal. I know I live with the depression and the anxiety (both caused by the stress of aformentioned friendship) but I can manage it and live with it. Also this healthy lifestyle has contributed to the healing and the process. So me not being able to work out and blow off some steam is putting a damper on, but this time I know I can do it. I have an amazing support netwok and cheerleaders in my camp. And that is what counts. 
So please #alwayskeepfighting cause you story is not over yet… 
Much love,

Week 6 started with a bang…

I started week 6 yesterday and boy did I start it with bang…

I broke my pinky finger on my right hand. Just a word of advise, don’t try to be all Ninja when your weight slips on the rack. It is a stupid move and landed me at the Doctor’s office. At first they thought it was just badly bruised, but then x-rays showed that I litterally broke the tip of my finger. *sigh, that means I am in a splint for the next 4, yes you read that right FOUR weeks.

My proud moment is, that this happened half way thru the workout, but guess what? I finished that suckers.

Also I found pictures on my phone that we took in August when I weighed in at 285lb. and I took pictures Yesterday at 266lb. I can see a small difference, but people tell me there is a pretty big difference. I don’t know you decide, the top is from Yesterday and the bottom is August.

I am also greatful that my Trainer Gabriel from HOLYFIT in Austin has my back, when he found out about my finger, he said we will modify the workouts so that I can still train, cause guess what doing Cardio for 4 weeks is not happening. 
Now comes the part that messes with my head, so I have done so well for 5 weeks and then this happens. First I feel stupid that it happened, second, how can a 12lb. weight fucking break your finger? and 3rd why? 
Also today was weird, I went to the gym and did cardio, then came home and cooked and took 2 Ibuprofen, casue I was in pain, it knocked me out, I took a nap till 1pm. So I haven;t taken any more since I do have work to do, but that didn’t happen much cause I was in pain. I really hope tomorrow will be better. I did get some stuff put a way in the house, but that was pretty much it. *sigh
But I came up with a pretty yummy eggplant recipe which I will share with you tomorrow.